KIM KARDASHIAN TIED UP AND ROBBED IN PARIS
Meanwhile, in the real world, 
CRYING DICK SUCKS OFF A BABY COW IN KAMBAH
 
Its all happening at the CAPITAL Hash in the ACT
Especially relevance deprivation. (Thanks Frizzy - Phrase of the week) 
The heavy moisture laden apmosphere presses down on the humans propped on the steep driveway in Eildon Place, Duffy
The Hare, JR, explains to us that trail took 3 hours to set but has been washed out by a once in 50 years Hail storm.
And talking of once in fifty years; certain things happen: The Bulldogs win, The Sharkies Win and the GM turns up. !!!!!  
We set off armed only with freshly Roneo ed A4 sheets to protect us from the Magpies.
We soon realise that the trail has been washed away because the hare failed to use self raising flower. !!!!
SCARLETT, who never lets a statistical opportunity pass him by, counts the remnants of 19 trail markings.
Horse slanders MCTRASH for dumping the slower walkers, but otherwise enjoyed the walk through the Magpie apocalyse. 
The trail maps get the hashers to the drink stop in four distinct groups: The wounded, McTRASH, The Runners and then the Walkers.
Every hares logistic nightmare comes to pass when the "One man chip Tsunami" doesnt turn up to hash. Yup NO CRASH and BURN.
The RA weaves her magic, casts the chicken bones and holds off the rain until the last 5 minutes of the run. BAD R.A.
 
After much Faffing around the GM finally calls the pack to order. First up we sing the shitty trail song. Sums up poor JRs efforts.
The R.A. is justly accused of allowing rain to fall. There are calls of "Burn the witch".
CRYING DICK is charged with acting out a "Deliverance" fantasy, what with his brand new pick up,albeit sans gun rack.
SCARLETT is called out for remarking on the mislabled streets. In this case a crescent has been labled a Court. OMG, end of the world
HORSE explains that WXMAN has just moved house and purchased a huge cabinet to put his trophies in. So far it's contents consist of
a small plastic Urn like artifact congratulating WXMAN on finishing 7th in the Dapto under Eights little athletics carnival of 1979.     
 
POOSHOOTER is called out for shit navigation. The Dwarf Apocalypse has its weekly meeting. All the females are asked to gather
in the middle to witness the Cock Forest around them. 
 
WEATHERMAN sings his worst out of tune song ever, PUGWASH hacks his own ears off to escape the cacophony.
It is at this time that CRYING DICK admits that he has committed Fellatio with a young Cow which has somehow caused him
some damage to his leg. PUGWASH triumphantly sings the Masterbatemans anthem in celebration.
GERBILS, DICKHEAD 2 and MEANY were latecomers. WXMAN for moving interstate. FRIZZY LIZZIE for being a MASTERBAKER
HELLO KITTY was charged for child neglect, again. Apparently, this week, she left both KITTY LITTER and FRISKIES in the boot 
MEANY was charged for neglecting the hash. BETTY BOOP charged FRIZZ for having multi personalities, being Bi polar and schiztophrenic.
 
COTW was presented to SOFT CENTRE for being a Crack Addict. The worlds worst crackers were handed around (Isnt that the point?)
Runsiversaries: JR 998, SEX CHANGE 449, HF 400 and FRIZZY 260
 
ON ON to DICKHEAD number two